‘What’s 11 minutes?’; you ask.

You know that feeling when you wake up 11 minutes before your alarm is set to go off? You smile at the realization that you still have more time left and then you feel it. Your bladder is bloated and anxious to be evacuated but you know if you get up and go to the bathroom, it will seriously eat into that precious time. So you lay there trying to ignore the ache. Trying to fall back asleep for those priceless 8 (now) minutes.

You start calculating how quickly you could get up, go to the bathroom and ‘get it over with’ but those calculations eat into your snooze time too, and the lucidity required wreaks havoc on how soft your pillow currently feels.

Now it’s just 3 minutes and you are angry at yourself for the indecisiveness that has cheated you of that bonus sleep time. Finally you acknowledge that your body has won and you reluctantly rise up to take care of business. To your horror, the damn alarm starts going off while you are on ‘the throne’ and you can’t really stop mid stream to shut it up! The toil torments you.

You consider ‘capping off the damn’ so you can shut off it’s blaring, screech cacophony but the relief feels too good and you try to ignore it. It’s a balancing act that mercifully ends when the last drop comes out. You race back to the room in record time and punch the snooze button defiantly. ‘There!’ you mentally shout (or ‘take that, you bitch’).

Then you start to negotiate how many snoozes you can get away with and slowly you get pulled back into the most comfortable bed in the WORLD. The next 6 minutes are all yours…

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About Bo Bandy

Just a creative soul trapped in a world of cookie-cutter pragmatism...
This entry was posted in Different Perspectives, Humor, Jokes, Recollections, True Stories, Essays & Rants, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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