Kequez; an assistant to Commander Vxrai; was asked to hypothesize a reason for the smacking sound. After a brief pause, he offered; “Perhaps it is necessary for adult humans to orally extract life force and DNA from their offspring, in order to mate?”
“That’s an ‘interesting’ theory Kequez, but also a very illogical one!” Commander Vxrai was always seemed to enjoy jamming his minor tentacles. “If this were true, where would the genetic donors get the necessary life force from, to produce their FIRST offspring? Do they borrow from other humans who already have offspring? Do they have enough in them to parent the first one and then borrow from others for subsequent reproductions? Your submitted theory allows for too many unlikely possibilities… and that is assuming you are right about the mating part.”
“Yes sir, I was premature in my judgement.”; apologized Kequez.
In a rare case of earnest contrition, the Commander reassured him that his theory was as valid as any other. They didn’t have the necessary visual reinforcement to base more scientific ideas on.
“Is there any way of repairing our damaged scanners?”; inquired crewman Korbrux.
“No. Our probe arms are not able to repair anything as intricate as the visual antennas and we can’t venture outside the ship to fix them ourselves. It appears that we are limited to the resources at hand.”; Responded the Commander.
“Sir, we could telepathically contact the immature Earthling ‘George’ and convince it to bring us ‘photo albums’ or other pictorial recordings. In order to not violate any interstellar ethics laws, we could offer a barter exchange for a treat or something.”; The science officer suggested.
“That’s not such a bad idea!”; agreed the Commander. “What’s your name, Ensign?”
“Katoh-4xbq1” answered to young ensign, proudly.
“Does anyone have an idea of what a suitable payment would be for these human visual records?”; The Commander asked. “I don’t want the commission to say we cheated the human with treats and trinkets.
“I was monitoring one of their audio signals from an advertisement. I think it might be pertinent to your question, sir. Let me play it back.”; said Kequez. He found the segment and played it on the ship’s PA monitor. A catchy jingle announced that: ‘A Kodak picture is worth a thousand words’.
Commander Vxrai sought better context and asked his assistant; “What is a ‘Kodak’?”
“It’s a type of analog device used to capture a still visual image; for later viewing.”; Kequez explained.
“So they don’t have instant access to the past then?”; He asked incredulously.
“Apparently not sir, and another thing….. As far as I can tell from listening to their communications…. they only have one nose!” The Commander sloshed in revulsion at what he imagined the one nosed beings to look like.