‘The smart gun’ I

   The spokesman for Victor Firearms stepped up to the lectern and then tapped his notes ritually on the top. This was partially to align the uneven pages; and also to call attention to the press conference. A large gathering of international reporters directed their attention to him and started their recording devices.

    “Ladies and gentlemen. We have finally entered a new era of personal firearm safety. An era where pure logic replaces raw emotion when choosing to use a self-defense weapon. First we had the ‘Smart Phone’. Then came the ‘Smart Watch’. Victor Firearms LLC is now proud to bring you the equally impressive ‘Smart Gun’!”

   The speaker surveyed the audience to gauge the general reaction to his provocative opening remarks. Basic information had already been leaked to the public so there were no raised eyebrows. He cleared his throat and then continued summarizing his outline from the podium.

   “Manufactured after 18 years of intense research and development, it is the most technologically advanced small-caliber weapon in the world! Besides restricting it’s operation to authorized users through handprint recognition, It also contains a highly sophisticated, mood-sensing logic chip. It’s built-in biofeedback scanner determines the fear and stress-level of the recognized user at the moment of immanent crisis. It also measures key factors like adrenalin and heart rate with its amygdala algorithm; as well as other pertinent physiological factors.

   As if these features aren’t amazing enough, it does something even more revolutionary! If held for more than 10 seconds in a defensive manner, it utilizes GPS satellites to locate and request the police. The ultimate goal of our advanced firearm is to summon peace officers, to diffuse and eliminate the need for a handgun at all. 

   That is a very important distinction and safety feature we are very proud of. It will not fire at an unarmed or incapacitated individual. Nor will it discharge if the user is merely angry. The space-age sensors in the handle can differentiate between legitimate home invasion fear, versus temporary anger of an argument or neighborhood dispute. It will not operate unless the bearer feels they are in immediate danger by an intruder or person of ill-intent. It will not settle heated arguments that could otherwise be worked out peacefully. It is absolutely a defensive weapon of last resort, as Victor firearms believes it should be.”

   Numerous individuals raised hands or yelled simultaneous questions in a din of incomprehensible crowdspeak. The spokesman’s strange revelations were extremely unusual for a weapon manufacturer and triggered a strong desire for clarification. Everyone wanted to get headline grabbing ‘sound bites’. Their professional impatience quickly escalated to shouting.

    “Please. If you hold your questions until the end. I’ll do my best to answer everyone in an orderly, one-at-a-time fashion.”

   His call for order in the press junket met with mixed results. In the highly competitive world of round-the-clock news, there was little room for second place or being polite. He was the only one with an amplified PA however, so he simply drowned out their sporadic interruptions.

   “As many of your are aware, our founder Spiro Victor lost his young son 22 years ago to a tragic handgun accident. That traumatic event (and the ensuing personal grief) redirected his purpose and energies at the small arms company that still bears his name. While his personal commitment to the second amendment has never faltered, he is determined to make a safer, child-proof weapon. It is his greatest wish to spare other parents from a similar fate. Mr. Victor firmly believes that the right to bear arms and defend one’s own family is absolute but the number of accidental deaths and tragic misunderstandings are unacceptable. 

   We believe we are not alone in our desire to prevent unnecessary accidents and shootings. It’s the goal of every responsible adult to keep dangerous tools out of inappropriate hands. We have taken great measures to insure our firearms are utilized only when necessary. We hope you never need our product, but if you do, we believe they will serve you, and protect your family better than any other hand gun available.

   Now, I’ll take a few questions. When I point to you, please identify yourself and state your question.”

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About Bo Bandy

Just a creative soul trapped in a world of cookie-cutter pragmatism...
This entry was posted in Controversial topics, Different Perspectives, Fiction Stories, Humor, Science Fiction, Uncategorized, Whimsical. Bookmark the permalink.

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