My family and I were shopping for a living room suite when we spotted a furniture store we hadn’t visited yet. It was set up as you would expect. The tastefully arranged showroom was decorated with all types of furniture in a stylish, contemporary format. We’d already been to a dozen others. They all look alike to me. I was sick of seeing the same sofas over and over. The only thing that really changed from one to the next was the color of the material and the amount of stuffing in the cushions. Every sofa, love seat, and recliner in the place was otherwise the same.
Unlike the highly repetitive nature of mid-priced home furnishings, the salesperson was extraordinary. She was a ‘looker’ and more importantly, she really knew how to ‘work’ the customers. More specifically, the MALE customers. She was engaging, flirtatious, and yet still maintained a very professional demeanor. She knew how to seduce all of the bored ‘father’ types; while simultaneously avoiding alienating the wife who was right beside him. She even sucked up to the whiney kids who could hasten their parent’s departure. She astutely offered them a candy bribe. It was a shrewd strategy. I could tell it wasn’t her first ‘rodeo’.
My wife and I found a couple decent prospects among the clusters of drab and mundane ‘neutral’ colored living room sets. We asked ‘Angel’ for the price of the ones we were interested in. Lo and behold; they were ‘on sale’. Color me surprised. Honestly, when aren’t items at a furniture store ‘on sale’? That’s their M.O. Angel explained that the ‘big sale’ ended later that Saturday at closing time but if we weren’t ready to commit, she’d still let us have the 20% off discount, Monday morning. My wife didn’t see the lascivious wink Angel slipped me. I have to admit, it sent an electric shiver up my spineless spine to receive warm attention from a siren like that, even if we both knew it was insincere. In hindsight, it was a masterful gesture on her part. She baited the hook and gave me a tantalizing nibble before snatching it back out of reach. She knew I’d be back to see how much more I could get.
After leaving, we discussed the two different options at length. We went back and forth between them but I had no doubt that as soon as we decided, I’d have a reason to go back Monday morning to discuss ‘terms’ with Angel. In the end, I wasn’t concerned over which we decided upon. Either one offered me a valid excuse to get myself into deep trouble. I just didn’t know how DEEP until later. Angel may have handed out lollipops to the kids but I was the textbook example of a ‘sucker’.
Monday couldn’t come fast enough for my philandering little heart. Time always drags on when you are up to no good. I honestly didn’t expect anything to happen beyond a little improper flirting, but the slightest of possibilities was there, no matter how unlikely or remote. I was running on the adrenaline of lustful conquest. That unstable hormonal drive makes you do exceptionally stupid things.
I almost trotted up to the front door like a hungry soul picking up a pizza. To my chagrin, I didn’t see her at first. I actually began to fear that Monday was her day off but she finally appeared from the doorway to the entrance to the employee area. Seeing me alone, this drop-dead-gorgeous, early twenties ‘smokin’ hottie’ made a beeline straight for me: her hapless ‘mark’.
“Ah, I see you came back to see ME again!”; She coo’ed. “Are you ‘alone’ this morning?”
All I could do was nod and smile like a doofus. She was reeling me in like a fish a little too anxious to be caught. It’s a fatal flaw for the male ego to be so blinded by fake flattery and insincere praise that it refuses to see the coiled springs of a trap. Many a man has fallen for less attention but I should have known better. Even then, I realized she was only flirting with me to get a sale, but I didn’t care. I was along for the ride of my own demise.
“I have ‘something’ at the back of the warehouse that I believe you’ll want to see.”; She offered innocently with soft doe eyes and full, ruby lips. I just nodded again at her clear innuendo. It’s all I could do, at the moment. She took me by the hand and led me through a narrow series of corridors and aisles of crates. I was struck by temporary pangs of nagging guilt but it quickly passed as I followed her exquisite body to a very dark, remote corner of the warehouse. Before I knew what hit me, she whirled around and kissed me passionately.
I kissed her back like she was the last female on the planet. It was intoxicating, deeply sinful, and highly erotic. I was so aroused by the inappropriate activity we were swept up in that I would have agreed to anything; and that was the point. At that moment the improbable fantasy was real. She really desired ‘me’; I convinced myself. There was certainly no denying what was going on. Seductively, my little furniture store vixen removed her high heels and unzipped her dress. Taking full control, she steered me toward a pile of mattresses in the corner.
There before me, this vision of female perfection was completely nude and absolutely ravishing. I only hesitated for a split second to ‘drink in’ the contours of her flawless body before disrobing and climbing on top of her. I couldn’t believe what was happening! Penetrating her was the definition of heavenly; but almost immediately I noticed something incredibly odd. In the heat of the carnal moment, I didn’t want to get wrapped up in distractions but she was a little ‘loose’. “This ain’t her first rodeo.”; I thought again with a grin. As we were going at it ‘hot and heavy’, I started feeling strange. It was as if I was having an ‘out of body’ experience.
The room started to spin. I felt like my heart was going to come out of my chest. She began to ‘squeeze’ me in a way that I didn’t think was humanly possible. I felt like I was losing control of more than just my boiling seed. She squeezed even harder. I groaned in both ecstasy and genuine pain. Then I must have lost consciousness. The next thing I knew, I was sliding down a long slippery, dank tunnel. Unbelievable panic set in. I tried to stand up in the pitch darkness but kept falling down. I couldn’t keep my footing on the slippery ‘floor’. Infinitely worse, I wasn’t alone in the dark. A chorus of men’s amused voices addressed me. I instinctively covered my nakedness.
“Hello there. What’s your name?”
“Ray”; I stammered. “Umm, What. What is this place?”
“We’ve humorously dubbed it: ‘The waiting womb’. Near as we can tell, we are all inside Angel’s well-used uterus. She seduced all of us, and one by one we were sucked inside her bewitching body like a vortex trap. We all arrived here the same way you did. Via her impossibly expanding vagina.”
I heard what the voice said but it didn’t compute. How could it? The other men chimed in and introduced themselves. Some laughed. Several of them had been there a few days ‘in the hole’ to think about their self-imposed misfortune and our mutual circumstances. In denial, I blindly felt around her spongy walls looking for an escape. The others assured me there was none.
As incredible and surreal as it all sounded, I couldn’t deny how my experience had started. Their stories were almost identical to my own. They had been seduced by her doe eyes, luscious lips, full breasts, and long black hair. The rest didn’t make sense in a modern world of science and logic but here we all were; lost in a slick, darkened, flesh cave. I dared to poll my fellow fools to see if any of them had any ideas of how to escape the ‘honey trap’.
“Physically, I don’t know how it’s possible that we came to be inside of her”; one of the other lost souls in the darkness began, “but if she is otherwise a human female, then she’ll have a monthly cycle…”
“That sounds pretty far-fetched.”; I remarked in exasperation. “How can you realistically expect for ‘that’ exit strategy to work?”
“Because. This ain’t my first rodeo either.”; He deadpanned.